Year/Decade in Review

There was a meme on Twitter for #oneline09, summarizing 2009 in one line. I wrote this:
Became a mom: lost sleep, lost free time, found more love than I ever imagined.

That pretty well summed up the highlights. We traveled around a bit showing off that baby. On a sad note, I lost my grandfather in February and my grandmother in August, but at 90 and 89 their passings were clearly drawing near.

Some have pointed out that the decade doesn't officially change for another year, but since a decade is just a series of 10 years I think we can look back whenever. So, like others, this seems like a good time to do a quick recap of my life since 2000. And wow, has this been quite a decade of change.

In 2000 I lived in Pittsburgh. Since then I moved to Arlington, VA (working in Washington, D.C.), and I now live in Chicago.

In 2000 I left my job of 6+ years for a job that I would be laid off from a year later. I got another job where I worked for 2 years before going back to school for to get my Master's of Science in Information Security Policy and Management. After that came a new job. (The one that made me move to the D.C.-area.) And when I decided to move to Chicago that was enabled by yet another job still.

Oh, why did I decide to move to Chicago? Because my now husband and I wanted to move here. In 2000 I wasn't even dating anyone seriously. I got into a relationship in 2001 that dissolved in 2004. In 2005 I met my now husband. We moved halfway across the country together, got married, and this year we had a son. In 2000 I wasn't even thinking about children.

It's hard to imagine but in 2000 I wasn't a playwright. I was acting, directing, choreographing and producing, but I didn't start playwriting until 2003 when I wrote a play on a whim that got selected and produced at the Gemini New Play Festival. After that I was hooked. I've only acted once since then, but I've had enough play productions that it would take me a while to figure out the total number in order to include it here. I've even (rarely) gotten some money as a result.

It's amazing that all that and more have been crammed into the last 10 years. Part of me sort of hopes that the next 10 years will be a bit more stable, but somehow I doubt that will be the case.

One week until Christmas?!?

Wow. This year has flown by. You'd think that newborn-induced lack of sleep would make it seem longer. Well, it's time to finish getting ready for Christmas and start thinking about what will be on my uberlist for next year. (I didn't do one this year because I had no idea what I'd be able to handle with a new baby.) I'll also do my year in review, although I already did it in one line on Twitter:

Became a mom: lost sleep, lost free time, found more love than I ever imagined.

Update: TMI edition

WARNING: This post contains what is probably too much information for many people. Biological information. Woman biological information. No, this is worse than the usual breastfeeding news, although there is some of that, too. This is of a more *monthly* variety. Yes, THAT female information. Stop reading now. I warned you.

Oh, are you still here? Anyway...

I'm still breastfeeding. A little. The critter latches on well first thing in the morning. Occasionally, he'll breastfeed if he is very tired or upset. Generally though he's don't with that. He is starting to hold his own bottle, and he eats three small pureed meals a day. He's a big boy. I'm still pumping though. Those few times that I get to breastfeed are worth it.

I guess it's because of the decreased breastfeeding (although my milk still seems to be holding steady), but I...remember, I warned you...I'm menstruating again. For the first time since June 2008! Let me tell you I sure didn't miss it. This forced me to buy tampons for the first time in a long time. Things have changed in 16 months! My preferred brand has changed it's packaging and...gosh...were they always that expensive?

Anyway, I was getting used to not having this particular womanly event, so it's weird to have it again. Was that too much information? Hey, I warned you.

Want: Fashionable Apron

pretty

Off My Meds

I finally ran out of the domperidone that I had been taking to increase my breastmilk supply. I don't know what is going to happen now.

After finding out that my insurance wouldn't pay for it, I had a big decision to make. By that time he was 3 months old, and I was back at work. I decided that, as directed for going off the med, I would slowly decrease my dose until my milk supply began to decrease. At that point, I would stick with that dose until I ran out of pills. I knew that some people could go off the meds and maintain supply, but I also knew that some people cannot. Generally, the supply can't be regained once lost. I decided that I was prepared to take that risk.

I gradually decreased from 10 pills a day. I would subtract one pill and wait a few days. When there was no change I'd remove another pill. I eventually got down to 3 pills a day (the minimum dose). The amount I pumped each day at work had stayed level at 8 ounces, so I continued to take 3.

A little over a week ago I finally ran out of the pills. Coming to the end was really scary. I knew that breastfeeding to 7 months isn't too bad, and I enjoyed my time doing it. Still, I was scared to lose that connection with my boy.

He has begun breastfeeding less frequently. He'll latch on well first thing in the morning when he's very hungry and I'm very full. Most other times of day he'll squirm and cry if I try to put him on the boob, even if he's hungry and will subsequently chug down a bottle. My pumping has decreased to about 6 ounces a day.
Maybe his feeding is slowing down because my supply is decreasing. Maybe my supply is decreasing because he is slowing down. Maybe it is just his time to wean. I don't know.

I keep trying. Sometimes, the critter will surprise me with some good breastfeeding. Sometimes, I pump an extra ounce. But I'm not confident that I will be able to breastfeed for much longer. I knew it wouldn't last forever, but it will make me sad when I have to stop.

Things I will miss about breastfeeding:
the closeness I feel with my boy;
the way he looks up at me when he's feeding;
the way he plays with his feet when he's feeding;
the strange wonder of being able to make milk (albeit not a lot);
and, okay yeah, the bigger boobs.

There are, however, things I won't miss about breastfeeding:
pumping;
nursing pads;
and if this ends soon, I won't be sad to miss out on breastfeeding a baby with teeth!

For now, I'm going to keep going as best I can.

A lot of loss

My son was born this year, and that has been awesome. Unfortunately, the rest of the year has been a whole lot of suck for my mom's side of the family. My grandfather died in February. My grandmother on the same side died in August. Now, in October, the dam was washed out at my grandparents' place (now cared for by my parents) thus eliminating the beautiful lake on which the house sat and leaving only a small creek and a lot of mud. I'd like to think the losses are over, but my mom also inherited my grandfather's very old German Sheppard, who is very slow and nearly blind.

"Turn, turn, turn," I know. But it is hard to have so much taken away in one year. Although I realized that nothing is forever, I was hoping the critter would have more opportunities to hang out with his great-grandparents by a serene lake while petting a big, friendly dog. (His great-grandfather died two weeks before he was born, but his great-granny did get to meet him once.)