The difference between "except for" and "in spite of"

Love is the difference between "except for" and "in spite of."

In my younger days, I occasionally thought I was in love. In the back (or sometimes front) of my mind, however, it was actually "I love you but..." I felt the person was perfect "except for..." There followed a list of flaws. They may have been superficial (appearance) or more substantive (behavior). In my foolishness I believed that if one those things (or at least a few of them) were different I could truly love this person. Ultimately those relationships ended, perhaps because of my list of their flaws or their lists of mine. I went on that way for many years.

Once I met someone I truly fell in love with I learned the truth. I see his flaws. He sees mine. But I don't focus on changing them. I love him in spite of those things. In fact, I can't imagine changing them. Without them, John is not John.

Love is not blind. Infatuation is blind. Love sees and accepts. In a moment a habit may be annoying, but with some distance it is endearing.

There are no perfect people. There are, however, people who are perfect for each other. People who's flaws complement the other's. People who are in love.

I have my uber list of over 50 goals (some large, some small) for this new year. So many of them involve being a healthier, happier, and just plain better person. A lot of the motivation for that is to be better for John, but I know he will love me no matter how many or few items get checked off the list. He does not make lists, but if he chooses to change or not change this year I will love him. "In spite of" not "except for."