The Challenge of Being Pampered

I have back problems. This is largely my own fault. I sit at a computer all day, rarely using good posture. I don't exercise enough. I scrunch my shoulders up when I get cold. Once, after a particularly bad back spasm (resulting in PT and drug therapy for weeks) I began to use the chair massage service where I worked. I hadn't used it before then even though it was always available. Once I started going, I booked at 20-minute service every other week. It really helped to keep my back in check.

A few months ago, a no-frills massage and yoga place opened near my work. In fact, it is located between my job and the train. I walk by it everyday. When you get a membership there the price includes a one-hour service each month, plus discounts on additional services. I joined because it is affordable, and I figured it would compel me to get regular massages. The money is automatically charged each month.

Luckily, they let you bank up to four services because I am behind (by at least 2...could it be 3 now?). Why? It's because I don't feel I have time, or it seems like too much of a bother. To much of a bother to get a massage? Not enough time to get home an hour late once a month?

Besides helping my back (which is otherwise cronically sore with spikes of extreme pain), during a massage is the only time I can really relax my mind as well as my body. Normally I'm a manic multi-tasker, particularly at this time of year. My current to do list includes: cook for my Christmas party, cook for a holiday dinner party, decorate the house, wrap Christmas presents, fill out and send Christmas cards, complete several play submissions, and plan my honeymoon. I flit back and forth between these as well as more mundain items like paying bills and cleaning the house. While doing one I'm thinking of another. While doing "nothing" (riding the train, eating dinner, taking a shower), I think about what I am about to do. Only when I am in a little room, naked under a sheet, being kneaded for an hour do those thoughts calm. (I won't say they completely go away, but it's surprisingly close.)

A massage is time that both my mind and my body need. So why do I procrastinate getting them, particularly when they are already paid for? Yesterday, I booked a massage for tonight. Even then, I almost didn't. I was too lazy to get a massage?! But I'm going today. It will be extra cold when I get out of there, but really only a few degrees colder than if I go home on time.

I feel like it's wasteful not to do this. So many people do not have the means to get a massage. So many people have never had one. (I didn't until I was 29.) So who am I to whine about having to schedule one? And I feel this is a much more worthwhile way to spend my money than shopping. I definitely don't need stuff. I don't need it, and stuff just becomes clutter which becomes stress. This is a way to spend some dicretionary income on something that truly benefits my health and well-being. I need to go. And I need to enjoy it.

I promise to give a Christmas present to myself of trying to catch up on some of my massage credits this month. I deserve it, whether or not I choose to admit that at times.