Sympathy Ham

A friend's mom passed away this morning. So I sent him a ham. I almost didn't because I thought that sending a ham when someone's mother has died is ridiculous. But I decided that I should do it because it is ridiculous. I hope he sees it that way.

I am most comfortable expressing my feelings with food. Even words are not my friends when it comes to sincere emotion. I work better in fiction, which may be based on reality but is not as raw or scary to me. So I show people I care about them by feeding them. I always have. If I cook for you, I definitely care. If I were in Pittsburgh right now, I would cook up a batch of something and bring it to my friend's house. Being so far away is frustrating. I feel like I can't do anything. A sympathy card and a bunch of flowers don't feel like enough. So I sent him a large ham.

It's a large ham. My intent is not for him to eat it all himself. I even stated this outright in my note to him. Please don't eat the entire large ham yourself. My intent is for him to use the ham as an excuse to be around people who care for him. He should invite them over to partake of this large ham that Kim Z sent him because she is ridiculous. If he doesn't feel like hosting he should drag his large ham to one of our friends' houses and make them eat it with him. I wish I could be there to share the ham.

Every year this friend throws a New Year's party. Everyone has to bring a bottle of champagne (or whatever sparkling swill is on sale). At midnight we toast people who have died during the year. You can get lists from the Internet. People also interject losses from their own life. I don't know if he will still have a party this year, or if someone will have a similar party in its place. If they do, I'm sure there will be a lot of champagne and a lot of tears and not for Ike Turner or Evel Knievel or Anna Nicole Smith. They don't even get hams.