I'm not a negative person. I suppose I should respect the choice of those who are, but it irks me. Negativity is a toxin. Exposure to it is not good mentally or physically, so I begrudge those who force on me what I carefully try to avoid.
I'm not talking about people who are negative in the face of significant challenges or tragedies. Although I think a positive attitude can help under all circumstances, it takes a high degree of strength that I can't guarantee that I even I could muster under truly horrific circumstances. Those people have a justifiable reason to be negative. At least for a while.
What irks me are people who take a minor annoyance or inconvenience and turn it into a superlative spew of negativity. Everyone and everything is obviously against them; therefore, everyone and everything is hateful! This attitude is particularly aggravating when the incessant rants are about things that can be changed if the person rationally takes the time. But I suppose it's easier to be super negative about anything in life that isn't handed over to you just as you ordered with a bow and a nice note.
Life takes work.
I like to help people. I love to teach. When people rant about things I know how to fix I want to help them learn how to succeed, how to master whatever it is that has been thwarting them. But some people don't want to listen. They just want to rant. Why? In some cases, perhaps, it is just to blow off steam, but what of cases when the anger/frustration/despair is sincere and lasting? Are you looking for pity telling me this? Am I supposed to commiserate with you about how horrible unfair life is, particularly to you? Sorry, but in these cases I don't think I have the capability to do either.
I don't want to hear it. Yes, I'm your friend. I should want to hear your problems. But I'm sick of your inability to deal with what to most would be minor annoyances. And you're just depleting me as an available ear and shoulder. I hear so many of your overblown complaints that I have a hard time distinguishing when you are rightfully aggrieved. And you rarely are. Remember that story about the boy who cried wolf? I hate to say it, but your rants are full of imaginary wolves. One of these days there may be a real wolf. You'll lose your job or there will be a death in your family or something truly horrible and upsetting and scary. I hope not, but as positive as I am about day-to-day setbacks, I know that bad things do happen. I'm afraid that if something happens to you I won't answer the phone or open your email because I'll assume that you're fuming about nothing.
I want to be there for you, but I can't be your dumping ground. I take negative feelings very seriously. They make me want to do something. They run through my mind and exhaust me. I can't waste that energy on the minor inconveniences of your life. I'm sorry.
Look. You made me rant. I hate that.
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1 comment:
I have a friend like that, too. Drives me nuts. I stopped taking her calls. She got the hint.
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