Girls! Girls! Girls!

Yesterday was my bachelorette party day. 7 of us spent 3 hours at a day spa getting massages, facials, manicures, and pedicures while eating fruit & cheese and drinking wine. Then, for dinner, we went to Minnie's, where everything is miniaturized. After that we hung out at a bar for a while drinking and talking and playing one bad game of pool. Then four of us went back to an apartment and ordered pizza while we wound down. It was a great day and a lot of fun, mostly because I was in superb company.

The amazing thing about this is that I haven't really had a lot of close girlfriends since elementary school. For most of high school, college, and my 20s I had convinced myself that I didn't like women. At least most women. Sometimes I would have one close female friend, but typically I was one of the boys.

I didn't realize it at the time, but I see now that this was tied to the low self-esteem that I had in those times of my life. I had convinced myself that the true measure of a woman's worth was attention from men. As a result, women were the enemy. They were competition. Better to avoid them altogether.

It was easy to maintain this because I worked and studied in a male dominated field. When I got my master's degree in information security there were 12 people in the program. There was one other girl, but she was antisocial and rarely around. De facto I was The Girl. And I loved it. As I had always loved it.

After graduation I started to value the friendship of another woman who I had met in school who had been in another program. However, she was often busy, so we'd usually see each other once or twice a month. It was only when I came to Chicago that I found myself becoming close to multiple women.

Some of these women are the significant others of John's male friends. Some are the significant others of some of my male friends. One is my roommate from college with whom I've been happy to reconnect. We are a varied group by careers, marital-status, and styles. I value all of these women and the type of bond that I think can only exist among women.

John remains my best friend, but I find comfort and support in the company of these women. My life is so much fuller for having them in my life. I am so glad that I have become comfortable enough with myself that I don't have to compete with them. I can enjoy their strengths rather than be intimidated by them. And they have many strengths to enjoy.

And we are a hot bunch of chicks. Even sans make-up.